TV Show: Real Housewives of Orange County

Thought it was time for another Real Housewives post. Yes, I watch a lot of unnecessary reality television. Anyway, I think it's fun to type these outrageous characters. I tend to believe these people are playing dramatized versions of themselves, or maybe I just want to hope they are...

As a general aside I believe the culture of Coto De Caza or O.C. is very much 3ish and 7ish so many of these women have an overlay of 3 or 7 as they have integrated into the culture, and many of them likely have it in the tritype which can somewhat subvert their typings. I think I've gotten a good grasp of these women's core strategies though so I'll try to give an adequate brushstroke of each of the main characters. However, it is interesting to note that I've seen a few Housewives come and go who couldn't seem to integrate into the culture very well (Quinn and Tammy to name a couple), so success on the show seems to rest on how well one can keep up with the 3ish focus on image and appearance and 7 fast paced, bubbly California cultural expectations.


Vicki

Vicki Gunvalson has been on the show since the first season so I've had a chance to really get a feel for her main type strategy. I see her as a 3w4 self preservation subtype/social subtype (she could even be the 3w2, her wings are fairly close). She is success oriented and seems to care first and foremost about making enough money to support her lifestyle and her family and ensure their thriving success. I used to believe she was a 6 because of the anxiety that seems to permeate her energy. I do think it's in the tritype (3-6-1) but maintaining her independence, keeping up with the Jones's  and the maintenance of her "professional business woman" image seem to be of paramount importance to her. She is an assertive type and has a tendency to take the reigns in any interaction (which is why I believe she chooses passive types as close friends and mates). She is perhaps the most independent and assertive of all of the Housewives and is incredibly proud of her hard work, tenacity, and ability to make money. She seems to have a great need for loyalty and camaraderie with her friends and greatly values her family relationships. However, Vicki can't seem to help but get caught up in drama in which she maintains an odd distance while still being judgmental. Her relationship with Jeana was interesting to watch because I think Jeana represented her connection to 9 and so would incite strong feelings against her own line to 9 due to Jeana's tendency toward passivity and complacency. Here's a good illustration of the tension between their two types:



Vicki runs a tight ship at home and seems to be well matched with her more passive husband Don (a 9w1). In the following clip she's a little drunk but she seems to play into the notion of her appropriate, successful, image:



Her anxiety is pretty palpable but I think this isn't uncommon for the self pres type who wants to ensure the security and comfort of herself and family. Vicki works in the insurance industry which is another testament to a strong 6 in the tritype and her self preservation instinct. In season 4 she really pushed her son to branch into the insurance business as I believe she wants her legacy to continue, however she managed to produce two passive but stubborn 9 children that are largely uninterested in pursuing the path of extreme financial success and dedicated hard work that their pushy 3 mother would have them value. I believe this was probably a coping mechanism to deal with her high strung, type A personality, a way to mitigate the amped up energy in the family home. Who better to mitigate the overdrive of a 3 than the gentle, measured energy of a 9 husband and two 9 kids.

Vicki seems to be unable to see her negative traits or rather is uncomfortable with having her flaws addressed on television. Her fairly public marital issues with husband Don seemed to have incited her to attempt to reconcile the marriage and "work harder" at maintaining a healthy relationship. I do get the sense that it's important that people see how hard she's trying to "make it work" with her husband which seems to be just as important as the marriage's success.

Whatever the case Vicki personifies the Type A, 3ish, work obsessed, successful, image conscious California woman. She often speaks about feeling misunderstood but I think this is due to her strong self preservation orientation, and almost compulsive desire to carve her way in the world and maintain her stark independence in a  privileged culture where the women typically take a passive role to earning in the family system. She's pulled herself up from her boostraps and is quite proud of that while I think recognizing the consequences of her workaholism and inability to relax.



Jeana

Jeana Keogh (Housewives veteran) left the show at the beginning of season 5, but has always seemed like a great example of a sexual 9w8 to me. She's sort of the embodiment of the guarded yet sensual and merging sexual 9 who wants to maintain union with her environment. It never seemed quite right that Jeana was on the Housewives to me because the flagrant materialism never quite fit with her energy (despite her efforts to pull off the image). Indeed, I think she enjoys money, big houses, and expensive clothing but the image conscious, superfluous aspects of the Coto De Caza lifestyle never quite fit her laid back, relatively unpretentious gut type energy.

I feel as though she developed a harder and more catty outer shell to deal with the drama leaden antics of her OC housewife "friends." Jeana's estrangement from her husband was always interesting because she could never manage to cut ties completely desipte his somewhat abusive and cold presence in the home. She is not a very good disciplinarian and it always seemed preferable for her to ensure her families togetherness more than their discipline or ambition. She did seem to slightly parentify her youngest child Colton (a 6 or 9) as he feels protective over his passive and subtly sensitive mother.

Here's her interacting with her assertive and opinionated daughter Kara (possibly a 3w4 or 1w2), you can see her unwillingness to engage in the conflict:




With 9 one can get a strange mixture of image consciousness and desire to meet the status quo with a subsequent desire to just be particularly when they are in a society or culture that values such ideals in order to maintain successful cultural integration (this is usually exacerbated with a social first or second instinctual orientation). The 9 doesn't want to fall too far outside of the cultural fabric lest they garner too much attention and invite too much conflict into their lives. Jeana was incredibly passive aggressive and instances of it can be seen throughout almost every episode since the show began. I believe this was her 9ish way of dealing with the anger and aggression she felt at her own percieved ineffectual nature and the pressure to meet the materialistic standard of life in the O.C. culture.

Jeana seems to alternate between passive aggression and withdrawal as can be seen in her interactions with the other women on the show. Her relationship with Vicki was strained at best, as Vicki grew annoyed with what she saw as Jeana's passive aggression and laziness regarding  various business ventures the two had undertaken. Jeana always maintained a bit of distance from most of the cast, sort of floating in and out of the drama peripherally occasionally calling anyone out but always managing to avoid too much of a fight herself. She could even have a dominant social variant due to this tendency to stalk the periphery of the social interactions the way many social 9s can, but I think her sensual and sexual energy points more to sexual first.

I get the sense that the show in conjunction with her marital situation and her loneliness really contributed to her depression and disconnection, and I personally believe her split from the show will be good for her to return to a sense of groundedness and connection with the world. In the following clip she reflects on her split from the show. If you read the subtext of her comments about her husband you can see the characteristic devoted/masochistic quality of the long suffering 9 who realized at some point that they have lost themselves in the fold while trying to merge with others.





Tamra

Tamra is the resident "mean girl" of the show and seemed to take on that roll more fully when Gretchen entered joined the cast. I believe Tamra is a 2w3 either social or sexual subtype. She embodies the stereotype of the gossiping, flirtatious, outrageous yet devoted and relationally centered 2. She can't help but find herself in the middle of all of the drama, often ensuing much of it herself. She harbors a deep and thinly veiled jealousy vendetta toward Gretchen. I think it's because she is aware of her own aging and sees Gretchen as a threat as she is likely the mirror of her younger former self. Tamra's marriage to 1w9 Simon has been suffering as she experiences the all too familiar pang of restriction from her controlling and rigid husband. There is a tendency with 2 to want the love and connection and then feel restricted and limited by the commitment. 2s need to feel a certain sense of freedom in relationship lest they begin to feel controlled and trapped. You can get a sort of princess in the tower syndrome that can feel a bit like the push/pull of the 4. It can also look a lot like 7 in many respects, but there is less of an impulse to cut and run and more of an impulse to either increase efforts toward martyrdom and dramatic manipulation or to induce jealousy in the partner to regain control of the relationship dynamic and amp up the drama in order to know they are still desired.

I think Tamra probably has 6 in the tritype which exacerbates her reactivity and affiliative impulse as well as 1 in the gut center which ramps her judgmental nature (although it could be 8 as she seems to be unafraid to butt heads if necessary and has a tendency toward bluntness and directness.)

Tamra and her oldest son Ryan (a 7w6 or 6w7) seem to have had a close relationship that was somewhat thwarted by her marriage to Simon who sees Ryan as irresponsible, disrespectful, and frivolous (which is a good example of the 1 demonizing his own line to 7). Nonetheless, this rift in the relationship is difficult for Tamra to manage as she feels the impulse to maintain the passion and sanctity of her relationship through being a "good" wife, but feels the maternal pull to protect her child who was there before Simon entered the picture.

Her relationship to the other housewives is interesting as well, as she seems to have trouble not occupying the gossip role. It is that impulse in 2 that feels the need to be the one with the important information as it increases social power and manipulation power (which points more to social subtype). She feels like this is her role to play, the one who knows and spreads information. I believe this is how she maintains an identity. The gossip impulse is exacerbated by the fact that she's received attention for her gossiping and "mean girl" persona and as an image type feels compelled to live up to the label. It just so happens that Gretchen provided a great opportunity for her to express her aggression and rage (line to 8) in a way that was entertaining for viewers. I think her indictment of Gretchen's sluttiness and inappropriateness is really her indictment of her own behavior. I can imagine Tamra wasn't too far off from that in her younger years, but if she is the social subtype there is a tendency to reign in the seduction a bit more, and cloak it a bit (not to mention the fact that Tamra had children quite young). However, despite her efforts to be malicious and catty she has started to show signs of wanting to get back in positive relationship to Gretchen as the 2 typically doesn't like to maintain an adversarial role to those in their environment for too long (as they are superego compliant and will start to feel like "bad people" for being so mean).

She also has the 2ish relationship with her estranged father, in which she is so desirous of his connection and attention and this seems to have created the need to recreate the father figure in her life in order to feel that connection she feels she lost (hence her relationship with fatherly, occasionally punitive husband Simon). There is a tendency within 2 to play the mother to the father (even if the mother is in the home) because of a desire to play the maternal role in the family system. Here she is talking about her relationship with her father:



Here's a great clip of the tension between Tamra and Gretchen. You can see the witch hunt quality to Tamra's indictment and the compulsive need to show Gretchen's "lying" and inappropriate relationships you can also see Jeana and Lynn's mediating impulse and Jeana's very telling comment "as long as it doesn't involve me I'm happy":





Gretchen

Gretchen Rossi joined the cast in the 4th season and was a lively and vivacious addition to the show. She is flirty, fun, seductive, and light hearted and seems at first like she could be a 7. However, I think Gretchen is a 2w3 sexual subtype. I think she's first and foremost focused on finding love and her flirtation has more of the 2ish sense of wanting to give the image of flirtation without the assertive promise of follow through of a 7, it's more of "look how sexy I am, do you love me yet?" When we are introduced to Gretchen in the 4th season she is engaged to Jeff, her older, ailing fiance. Her relationship seemed genuine to me and seemed to be a good representation of the tendency of 2s to find love and latch on regardless of extenuating circumstances. She also took on the caretaking role in the relationship as his cancer rendered him in need of assistance and a maternal influence.

She seems to have integrated herself quite well into Jeff's family (as he had teenage children from a previous marriage) and quickly and willingly took a a mothering role to his children as well. Her maternal energy also points more to 2 rather than 7, as that kind of commitment for a 7 might be a bit confining. I get the sense that she feels filled up by taking care of others. Indeed, she wants to flirt, have fun, and be seen as, as she puts it; "fun, flirty Gretchen" but as she's said in passing on the show this is not the "real" her, it's a role she plays because it seems to get her everything she wants. I do think she has 7 in the tritype as well as 9 (conflict avoidant, easy going, and light-hearted)

Gretchen is likely the sexual 2 as she seems largely uninterested in developing a deep connection with the other women of the cast. Her relationship with Tamra was strained at the beginning and Gretchen likely felt blindsided by Tamra's jealous indictments and accusations about her relationship with Jeff. Whatever the case, Gretchen tried to take what some might call the high road, but really she was  acting true to form to the sexual subtype who will be reluctant to involve themselves with excessive interpersonal drama. Her focus remained primarily on her relationship.

Jeff died and Gretchen quickly moved on to former O.C. house-husband Slade, and seems to have fallen in love quickly and deeply. Her love of love, and need for love personifies the sexual 2s desire to be in connection and more importantly in relationship with another person. She fosters flirtatiousness and a vivacious fun attitude for no other reason but to garner attention from men so that she can ensure that she is never alone for too long. She seems to merge well with her partners, playing the role of the good, pampered wife when with Jeff (as he had more financial freedom and independence) and now adapting to the financial restriction, Boho chic dynamic of her relationship with Slade (who incidentally is likely another 2w3). In fact, I believe the double 2 relationship is what makes her relationship with Slade work on so many levels as they both are seeking romantic relationship above all else, the desire to maintain union and avoid loneliness at all costs.

Her introduction video shows her personality well, without all of the amped up flirtatiousness. Although I always chuckle at all the flirty, girly 2's who talk about being "tom boys" as kids but always manage to grow up to be these hyper-feminine women, to me it's a testament to 2 (and particularly sexual 2) to be able to wear both hats well, it's another manifestation of I can be whoever you want me to be as long as you'll love me....seduction at its best:



Here's her and Slade together, you can see their personality similarities, the cutesy quality of the 2 and the need to show us how together, in love, and connected they are:





Lynne

Lynne Curtain is another new addition to the Housewives cast from season 4. I think Lynne is a lighthearted add to the cast and seems to inject a bit of spacey whimsy to the predominately image focus energy of the show. I see Lynne as a 9w1 sexual or self preservation subtype. She seems to be fairly ungrounded and has a very floaty almost ditsy quality about her that the other girls love to tease her about. She has a strong connection to 3 and likely has it in the tritype contributing to a fair amount of image consciousness that seems to increase as her time on the show wears on (she's adapting well to the culture of the O.C. lifestyle). She also has the tendency of the 9w1 toward exercise obsession and a hyper-focus on her weight and diet. She is an avid fitness buff and seems to have a fear of aging (I have seen this before with other 9w1 or 1w9s, typically when self preservation is first or secondary focus). I get the sense that Lynne is primarily interested in maintaining the her personal peace and harmony  even at the expense of letting her somewhat difficult hormone crazed daughters rule household. She is a poor disciplinarian (much like Jeana, another 9) and seems to have difficulty putting restrictions on her children or following through with punishment. There is little conviction in her restrictions but I can see the effect of her absent nature on her youngest daughter who feels a bit unseen by her mother (a not-uncommon effect of having a 9 parent according to Enneagram researcher Katherine Fauvre).

She is blissfully free from engagement in a lot of drama and prefers to take the mediating role in conflict if it arises. She will try and be moderate and see things from all points of view (as with the feud between Tamra and Gretchen) but will ultimately only involve herself to a limited degree before retreating. Lynne is very sensitive and the comments about her intellect and intelligence were often difficult for her to manage, as she probably feels like she has few inner reserves to deal with attacks like that. However, she seems to be able to disengage from her experiences fairly easily, floating off into some dream world where she is relatively untouched by the concerns of everyone else. She is subtly competitive (something you can see with Jeana as well) which is a testament to her connection to 3 and wants to be just as, if not more, attractive than the other ladies, however it's more important to maintain her union with the environment than express open competitiveness. This is in stark contrast to Vicki's openly competitive and domineering nature and the tension between 9 and 3 is shown well in Lynne and Vicki's relationship, as Vicki sees Lynne as ineffectual, ungrounded, and unintelligent. In this clip you can see Jeana (who seems to maintain more of her groundedness and practicality via her 8 wing) takes a jab at Lynne referring to a moment of ditsyness as a "Lynne moment." Lynne's sensitivity is shown despite trying to initially brush it off:





You can see the ungrounded yet happy go lucky quality of Lynne in this clip as she describes herself, which incidentally has little content and has the 9ish quality of having no real point or bottom line. However in the first clip you see her point to the tendency of the 9 to put themselves on the back burner and reveling in her opportunity for it to be "all about her" as she joins the cast of the Housewives:












Alexis

 

Alexis Bellino is the newest housewife this season and I might need a little more information to type her with more certainty. However, right now she's reading like a sexual 3w2 to me. She seems to be very image conscious and plays the role of good, sexy mother pretty well (which is a common role for the sx 3w2). I think she genuinely cares most about her connection with her husband (who seems like an 8w9 to me). She wants to please him, look good for him, and ensure that she is projecting the right kind of image for her family. She doesn't seem too bothered with her husband's desire for her to default to him and be a dutiful, pure wife. There's a strange sort of paradox in her image in that she boasts being quite religious and pious while still wearing short, low cut dresses, tanning, and indulging in the occasional plastic surgery (breast augmentation) that would indicate a more of a focus on sex appeal and aesthetic than her description of herself as a religious, humble woman would suggest. She has yet to be involved in any major drama and I get the sense that this particular dynamic of the OC cast will be avoided by her if at all possible. She seems assertive but only in areas that incite her attention. She is competitive with her beauty and has that sort of untouchable Barbie Doll feel to her that many sexual 3s project. She's subdued and well composed and projects the seriousness and intensity of her sexual instinct:



I don't think she's a 2 despite her devotion to her husband and marriage because her heart energy seems to be entirely directed at playing the part of devoted wife, by that I mean that she seems to feel the need to tell us how good of a wife and mother she is rather than showing us (something typical of 3s). 2s (like Gretchen or Tamra) don't overstate their caretaking roles, it is implicit in their interactions. There's a clinginess to their energy that is more flagrant that Alexis doesn't seem to have (or at least not visible on camera). Alexis is guarded and seems to be more cognizant and successful at projecting a particular image, whereas Gretchen and Tamra can't help but let their identities show in a less polished manner, showing us the chutzpah characteristic of some 2s.

Alexis runs her home a bit like a business in which she is the CEO (well, next to her husband), not unlike her 3 counterpart Vicki. She states; "I don't know that Jim would want me doing any other career... So, my goal in life is just to be the best mom and wife I can be."






Final Weigh In:

Vicki: 3w4 self-pres/social (3-6-1 tritype)
Jeana: 9w8 sexual/social (9-3-7 tritype)
Tamra: 2w3 social/sexual (2-6-1 tritype)
Gretchen: 2w3 sexual/social (2-7-9 tritype)
Lynne: 9w1 sexual/self-pres or sp/sx (9-3-6 tritype)
Alexis 3w2 sexual/self-pres (3-7-1 tritype)